A new approach to decluttering our lives has been all over the media lately with the appearance of a television show called The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. Produced and narrated by American comedian Amy Poehler, the show is funny, poignant, and helpful.
Despite the name, Swedish death cleaning is neither morbid nor depressing. In fact, it’s hopeful and life-affirming! My own experience proves this.
An Act of Kindness
The television show, which is streaming on Peacock in the United States, is based on a book of the same name by Swedish author and artist Margareta Magnusson. After the death of her mother and husband, Magnusson found that sorting through their things was emotionally and physically exhausting.
So, she decided to educate others by writing a small book, which she illustrates with whimsical drawings, that explains the Swedish art of döstädning, a combination of the word “dö” (which means death) and “standing” (which means cleaning).
The belief underlying the process is this: you owe it to yourself and others to get your house in order before you die.
Ideally, we would structure our whole lives around this belief. We would buy and use only what we need. We would live more simply, in clean and orderly homes, and when we die, we would leave very little.
Unfortunately, in a consumer culture, that is not how we live. By the time we have reached middle age, most of us have accumulated vast quantities of things. This is why Magnusson, who is “aged between 80 and 100,” recommends that everyone over the age of 65 begin the process of Swedish death cleaning. While it’s good to do it earlier in life, it’s essential later in life.
Otherwise, we create an awful burden for those we leave behind and quite possibly feelings of resentment. As Magnusson says, “do not ever imagine that anyone will wish – or be able – to schedule time off to take care of what you didn’t bother to take care of yourself.”
When you keep others’ well-being in mind, you know that “a loved one wishes to inherit nice things from you. Not all things from you.”
It is an act of kindness to remember this and to live accordingly.
A Gentle Art
There is nothing unusual about the sorting process that Magnusson recommends: focus on one area at a time; start with easier spaces (attics, basements) that are full of things you may have forgotten; and work your way up to the things that evoke strong memories and emotions.
What is unique about the process – what makes it death cleaning — is the understanding that you are working through a lifetime of accumulated memories — acknowledging your good and bad choices, your personal highs and lows — and coming to terms with your own finitude.
This is why Magnusson approaches it as a “gentle art.” It is done gradually over months or years, it is unique to everyone, and it is creative and imaginative (What new uses can I find for this item? How might it make someone else happy?)
The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning television series involves three Swedish experts – a psychologist, an organization specialist, and a designer. Each week they help a person who is going through a difficult life transition – a cancer diagnosis, the death of a loved one, an empty nest – reorganize their house and their life.
The experts help the client work through many emotions and reinforce the value of self-care. They bring in supportive friends and family to help with the process.
The group goes through everything together and decides what to keep, give away, sell, donate, and discard. The designer uses the word “curate” to describe their process of selecting and organizing the best and most appropriate things to be kept and presented in the home. The goal is to create a more intentional living space that truly reflects the client’s style and interests.
This kind of cleaning frees up time and space for the next chapter, whether life here on earth or the great beyond. Katarina Blum, the psychologist on the show, told CBS news, “We often say that death cleaning is for life. What really matters and what’s really close to your heart comes to the surface. . .. Because we will die one day, and no one knows when, let’s make these days matter.”
Cleaning the Garage
All his life, my husband has been a collector of old telephones, art, pottery, and other items from the art deco period. He has many, many things, much of it stored in the attic and garage.
When we moved two years ago, we cleaned out the attic in our old house and shifted some of those things to the garage in our new house. This spring, we finally decided to clean the garage. What a liberating experience!
We started with the four large bins crammed with Fiesta ware — colorful dishes in the art deco style produced by the Homer Laughlin China Company. Introduced during the Great Depression, Fiesta was originally created in six vibrant colors to evoke a feeling of celebration around the dinner table. Widely popular in the 1940s and 1950s, the line was retired in 1972 and then revived in 1986. It is still produced today, although we think the earlier pieces are far superior in style and appearance.
My husband and I LOVE Fiesta and use it daily. But how many dishes does one retired couple need? Although we rarely entertain, we have multiple serving plates, pitchers, and other unique items. Over the years, we have spent thousands of dollars collecting Fiesta that we will never use.
Last year, we sold and gave away some of it. But we still had those four bins taking up space in the garage. When we finally set aside our “I-paid-a-lot-of-money-for-that” mentality, we listed the lot (130 pieces) for $500 on Facebook Marketplace.
It sold in two hours. The woman who bought it had grown up with Fiesta, had inherited some from her grandmother, and was growing her own collection. She got a great deal on ours, and we gained a lesson especially relevant to this period in our lives: it’s not about the money.
We also got the pleasure of passing our collection along to a new generation that will love and appreciate it.
Plus, getting rid of that Fiesta energized and motivated us to do more. We cleaned out and consolidated other bins in the garage. We gifted and donated more things. We cleaned and organized. And then we painted the walls and hung some art.
The Future Looks Bright
Last weekend, we had a garage sale and sold the empty bins. The young woman who bought them said, “Wow! What a clean garage you have!”
Since then, we have been sitting in the garage. We never did this before, but it is so bright and airy, and there is so much space! My husband calls it “relaxing.”
We discovered that, once you get over the pain of getting rid of things, there is freedom in it.
“Letting go,” in fact, is an ancient virtue that is necessary to both living well and dying well, according to L.S. Dugdale, physician and author of The Lost Art of Dying (2021).
When we let go of what we no longer need, we are acknowledging that the season for all things passes. Whether we realize it or not, we are also grappling with an important existential question: in the end, what matters and what doesn’t?
My husband and I didn’t find all the answers in cleaning out the garage, but it made us feel good to do it. That alone was worth the effort.
Written by: Ruth Ray Karpen
Ruth Ray Karpen is a retired English professor who now works as a freelance researcher and writer. She has published many books and articles on aging and old age, life story writing, and retirement. She also volunteers for a local animal shelter. In our series on Heart and Soul, she explores how later life, including the end of life, offers unique opportunities for emotional and spiritual growth.
On behalf of Smart Strategies for Successful Living, our sincerest appreciation goes to Ruth Ray Karpen for her contribution to the heart and soul of living and aging.
