How to Engage in Active Listening

How many times have you engaged in a conversation where you were simply not being heard by the other person? How did it make you feel? Frustrated? Angry?

Maintaining good communication is paramount to building effective and productive relationships with others. An integral part of good communication includes being an active listener.

Why is active listening important?

Effective listening is one of the most important skills you can develop. Developing these skills will help you better understand what people are really saying which will significantly decrease those misunderstandings that so often lead to conflict. Additionally, with information comes power. If you can learn to become an active listener, you will ultimately improve your ability to influence, persuade, and negotiate outcomes both at home and at work. Finally, when you actively pay attention to the verbal and nonverbal information being conveyed by pertinent people such as your family members, friends, coworkers, bosses, or clients, you will find it easier to work with them to build rapport, show support, and resolve problems in productive and rewarding ways.

To improve your listening skills, master the following techniques.

Set the Tone

To engage in active listening, it’s important to set the tone from the very beginning. This means establishing a safe and supportive environment in which the other person feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. Start by showing genuine interest in what the other person has to say, as well as empathy and kindness. This will help create a connection and a sense of trust between you and the other person.

Be Attentive

Active listening requires that you are fully present and attentive during the conversation. Put away distractions such as your phone or computer, and focus on the person in front of you. It can be helpful to maintain eye contact, nod occasionally, and use verbal cues to signal that you are engaged and interested. By showing that you are listening and paying attention, you are helping to create a supportive environment in which the other person feels heard and valued.

Seek Clarification

One of the most important aspects of active listening is seeking clarification. This means asking questions to ensure that you have fully understood what the other person is saying. Asking open-ended questions such as “Can you tell me more about that?” or “What happened next?” can help encourage the other person to share more and can help clarify any misunderstandings or confusion.

Be Welcoming

Another important component of active listening is creating a welcoming environment. This means actively listening without judgment or bias, and remaining open to new perspectives and ideas. Avoid interrupting the other person or jumping to conclusions, and instead focus on understanding their point of view. By creating a safe and supportive environment, you are helping to create a dialogue in which both parties feel valued and respected.

Watch for Nonverbal Cues

Lastly, it’s important to be aware of nonverbal cues during the conversation. Pay attention to the other person’s body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions, as these can often convey more than their words. For example, if someone is crossing their arms or avoiding eye contact, it could indicate that they are feeling uncomfortable or defensive. Being aware of these cues can help you adjust your approach and create a more supportive environment. (For tips on how to mastering key interpersonal skills, CLICK HERE.)

What are the barriers to good listening?

All of us may come to a conversation with certain barriers that, if left unchecked, can hamper our ability to effectively listen. These barriers include:

(1)  Our state of mind:

If we are fearful, worried, or angry about the encounter or the person, it can cause us to react to our emotions instead of act or respond to the conversation at hand.

(2)  Time on task:

When we have limited time to engage in the conversation, we are more likely to dismiss key pieces of important information and focus on ending our encounter within the prescribed timeline.

(3)  Personal biases or prejudices:

For whatever reason, we may have stereotypical attitudes that cause us to be reluctant to give our speaker the time needed to hear them out.

(4)  Foreign accent:

When we engage with someone who has a thick foreign accent or inability to communicate well in our language, we can find it challenging to fully understand or maintain interest in what the person is saying.

To develop your active listening skills, practice these techniques until they become a natural part of your everyday conversations with others.  Establish concrete strategies to conquer any barriers and focus on making this a WIN for both parties.

“Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood”-Stephen R. Covey

8 Strategies to Improve your Listening Skills: CLICK HERE
Source:  Indeed

Active Listening – Hear What People are Saying: CLICK HERE.
Source: Mind Tools

How to Become A Better Listener: CLICK HERE
Source:  Harvard Business

Master Compassionate Listening: CLICK HERE
Source:  Smart Strategies for Successful Living