MAD Magazine (1952-2018) was the most popular magazine for many of us growing up in the 1950s. MAD’s fictitious mascot, Alfred E. Neuman, had a gap-toothed smile, freckles, red hair, big ears and a scrawny body. He was defined by a phrase most young people during the 50’s can still quote: “What, me worry?” The question remains, “Should we worry, and if so, about what?”
The word “worry” first appeared in the 1804 writing of W. Wilberforce. Since then, worry has gained in popularity. We all worry. There is no shortage of things to worry about these days, ranging from politics, to health, to sport teams, to personal relationships. The word means the experience of anxiety or unease, allowing our mind to dwell on difficulty or trouble. To worry is to be in a state of uncertainty over what is happening or might happen.
TWO MAIN TYPES OF WORRY
(1) Practical Worries. These worries can be acted on rather than just adapted to. The American Psychiatric Association concluded in a 2013 study that there are five good reasons to worry: 1) facilitates problem solving; 2) enhances motivation; 3) protects against negative emotions; 4) prevents negative outcomes; 5) reflects a positive personality trait. That such worries can be positive in our lives is seen as a false belief by some. They argue such worrying can lead to a habit that evolves into the second type of worrying.
(2) Hypothetical Worries. These worries are about the future that is out of our control and something we can’t do anything about. Such worries can snowball, eventually leaving the worrier in a constant state of anxiety and stress.
RESPONDING TO NEGATIVE WORRY
Excessive worrying can impede our ability to engage in everyday activities we desire. Fortunately, there are straightforward strategies to help manage both practical and hypothetical concerns:
- Acknowledge when you are worrying.
- Identify the specific source of your worry.
- Consider whether there is evidence supporting the likelihood of the feared outcome.
- Determine the goal of your worrying.
- Ask if worrying leads to positive action.
REPLACING WORRY
As a light rain brushes her face and adds diamonds to nearby flowers, the recently retired woman finds her sight and mind resting on the old oak tree next to the park bench where she sits. Taking a deep breath, she let’s go of the growing worry about what she will now do with her life and focuses on the quiet moment and memories that the great tree brings forth within her. In this very park she had picnics as a young girl, Easter eggs hunts with her children, and shared time with her grandkids in the playground. Now it is where she comes to mediate, reflect, and release the tensions within her body.
Is that light rain upon her checks or perhaps a tear or two of joy that come more frequently as she ages? Whatever it is, it shares her moment of quiet peace as worry and anxiety fade away. The moment is filled with memories of the past and hope for the future.
Twenty-six hundred years earlier the Greek philosopher Parmenides (born 515 BC) had a similar experience. He concluded that a life well-lived is accompanied by three muses (three of the nine daughters of the Greek god Zeus): mediation, reflection, and song. Meditation grounds us in the present, reflection brings insight from the past and song celebrates the moment while bringing hope for the morrow. Worry is replaced by insight, acceptance, courage and positive attitude.
Parmenides and the poet Mary Oliver (1935-2019) would have liked each other.
Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it, am I going to get rheumatism, lockjaw, dementia? Finally, I saw that worrying had come to nothing. And gave it up. And took my old body and went out into the morning, and sang. – Mary Oliver, “I Worried,” (2010)
Dark clouds are part of life. Parmenides and Mary Oliver join the woman in the park in choosing song and hope above negative worry and despair. Physical limitations may lead to worry, however, research (M. Powell Lawton, Valuation of Life study, 1999) has shown factors including positive emotions can replace a life of worry and anxiety.
The woman rises from the park bench, wipes the wet from her cheeks, absorbs the peace that comes with her meditative reflections, walks home quietly humming as she lets go of unwarranted worry. She smiles with a quiet confidence, ready to face the challenges and opportunities of the days ahead with hope and love.
For every end,
there is always a new beginning
And now here is my secret,
a very simple secret:
It is only with the heart
that one can see rightly;
what is essential is invisible to the eye. – The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
It is with the heart that we transcend worry.
Written by: Hartzell Cobbs
About the Author: With a sprinkling of exuberance and vitality, Dr. Cobbs is an accomplished author of three books and numerous articles published in different venues throughout his life. Dr. Cobbs’ first book, Thanatos and the Sage: A spiritual approach to aging (2008), offers a thought-provoking interpretation of the interplay between how to live life with meaningful intentions and the eventuality of coming to terms with death. His second book, RavenWind (2019) delves into the raven’s role as it relates to Native American myths, legends, and folktales and global history. His reflections on the spirituality of living and dying depicted in his books are threaded throughout the short essays posted on the website for “Smart Strategies for Successful Living” and in his latest book, The Moon at the Window: Senior Reflections.
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Thanatos and the Sage: A spiritual approach to aging: CLICK HERE.
