Researchers tell us that we can learn a lot about happiness and wellbeing from animals, and my own experience confirms this. They are great teachers, and we are lucky to have them among us.
What the Experts Say
Vint Verga, a long-time veterinarian and author of The Soul of All Living Creatures: What Animals Can Tell Us About Being Human, offers several lessons we can learn from animals:
(1) Savor the moment.
Animals live in the now. They do not dwell on the past or worry about the future.
(2) Heed your instincts.
Animals are alert and attentive to all of their senses. They tune into the environment and take their cues from people, events and circumstances around them.
(3) Keep focused on what’s most important.
Our pets give us love, affection, and invitations to play, even when we are busy and ignore them. They remind us that connection is important.
(4) Don’t get bogged down on words.
There are lots of ways to communicate beyond words that are sometimes more reliable: tone of voice, eye contact, facial expression, body language, touch, smell. When we use all of our senses, we often connect with others more completely and honestly.
(5) Take time to rest.
Animals do not push themselves to keep going. When they feel tired, they rest.
(6) Remember to play.
Animals know how energizing it is to play. “From Labradors to Bengals and timber wolves to leopards, the creatures around us routinely play to invent, discover, and bring joy to their day,” says Verga.
(7) Don’t take yourself so seriously.
Animals, unlike people, don’t worry about how they look or what others think of them. Humans would feel happier if they silenced their inner critic.
(8) Let go of your attachment to being right or wrong.
While humans are often driven by a sense of pride and self-importance, animals are driven by what matters to their survival: food and water, shelter, remaining healthy, caring for their young. Besides these basic needs, human wellbeing also depends on giving and receiving love, which is more important than self-image.
(9) Practice forgiveness.
Although animals clearly suffer grief and misery, “they move past them with greater poise than we humans often do,” says Verga. “The continuity of their lives takes precedence over reliving the past.”
(10) Love unconditionally.
Animals love us regardless of our age, size, appearance, background, social status, or political affiliation. Most humans find it very hard to love people unconditionally, although we can often do so with our pets. We would be much happier if we were more accepting of all others.
My Life With Animals
Unfortunately, I did not grow up with animals. My parents were practical, hard-working people who considered pets an extravagance. My brother and I did have a parakeet once (in the 1960’s, you could buy those in the dime store), but after he flew out the front door, my mother sold the cage at a garage sale.
Cat 101
At 25, when I started graduate school, I moved into an apartment with a nurse who had two tabby cats. She worked nights and slept days, so I had plenty of time to study these unique animals. They were quiet, fastidious, and kept to themselves. In other words, perfect roommates! But they were also willful and did exactly as they pleased. When I rolled up an oriental rug and propped it in the corner of my bedroom, they used it as a scratching post. When I arranged potted plants on their favorite windowsill, they knocked every one of them off.
At 27, when I moved in with the man who would become my husband, he wanted to get a kitten. Kipper, our tortoise shell, was a skinny ball of unpredictable energy. I admit to being a little afraid of her. Shy but also feisty, she was prone to hiding and hissing. I later learned she was displaying what cat lovers affectionally call a “tortitude.”
Over time, I came to respect that attitude. Kipper was, unapologetically, herself. As writer Leonard Michaels said approvingly, “A cat is content to be a cat.”
In the divorce, I got custody of Kipper.
Forever Friends
After that, there were many cats, often strays who adopted me. Then I found Maisy, a calico who served as friend, confidante and cuddle mate through all the years of living single, building a career, and falling in and out of love with the wrong men.
At 57, when I rediscovered my high school sweetheart, he had to pass muster with Maisy.
Things didn’t go so well at first. He was used to dogs and didn’t know he had to earn a cat’s trust, observing carefully and taking his cues from her.
But he proved a willing student, so I married him.
Maisy and I moved cross country to start a new life with Tim. Together, we all learned that it’s never too late to make a friend – or to fall in love.
When she got sick and we had to say goodbye, Tim cried as much as I did.
Life Lessons
Now retired, I volunteer at a cat shelter. About two months after I started, I fell in love with two tabby sisters. We adopted them and rearranged our house, with spaces to run, jump, scratch and relax. All the windowsills are free of clutter.
You see, cats have distinct personalities, and you can’t change them. To live together in harmony, you must learn to appreciate them exactly as they are.
There is a reason for cats’ autonomous behavior that has been well-documented by researchers studying ancient cat DNA.
While dogs were selected and domesticated by humans to perform specific tasks, such as hunting and herding, cats lived alongside humans for thousands of years before they gradually domesticated themselves. Cats followed the rodent population, which feasted on farmers’ crops, and approached human settlements in search of food. Humans found them helpful in controlling the rats, so they encouraged them to stay. It was not until the 19th century that humans began to create special breeds of cats for their appearance and personality traits.
Evolutionary geneticist Eva-Maria Geigl explains that cats, unlike dogs, have not changed much over time. “I think that there was no need to subject cats to such a selection process since it was not necessary to change them,” Geigl says. “They were perfect as they were” (“Cats Domesticated Themselves Ancient DNA Shows,” National Geographic, 2017).
Perhaps the fact that humans haven’t tampered much with the genetic makeup of cats explains why they are so comfortable being themselves. And this is what cat lovers find so endearing about them.
So what is a lesson humans can learn from cats? Be yourself!
Written by: Ruth Ray Karpen
Ruth Ray Karpen is a retired English professor who now works as a freelance researcher and writer. She has published many books and articles on aging and old age, life story writing, and retirement. She also volunteers her time at a local hospice and animal shelter. In our series on Heart and Soul, she explores how later life, including the end of life, offers unique opportunities for emotional and spiritual growth.