The author Bill Bryson said there is a word for the fear of having peanut butter stick to the roof of your mouth. It is arachibutyrophobia. There is a word for looking through the windows of a home as you pass. It is crytoscopophilia. While such words do not affect our daily lives, most words are a means of communication and have the power to shape our thoughts and define our personal realities. They can inspire, harm, support, or suppress us.
Words can scatter, words can matter
Words bring hope, and speak of failure
Words of love and words of hate
Tear us apart or bring us together
We think in words and if no one is around we talk to ourselves, our pets and even our plants.
The philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein put it this way:
“Words put clothes on thought.”
Words put clothes on our thoughts but do not guarantee that our thoughts are appropriate or even truthful. Socrates taught that a teacher uses words to ask probing questions, helping to bring forth the students’ thoughts and opinions. This Socratic method of teaching recognizes that using words to lie can bring “evil to the soul” as Socrates phrased it. He understood the “soul” to be all life, whether human or animal.
The clothing we put on thoughts can easily be misused. For example, the obvious ways politicians and advertisers use words to gain profit or power without owning the lack of integrity inherent in many of their words. More times than I want to admit, I have ordered a hamburger only to find out that the delivered commodity had no relationship to the idealistic description or the word picture used in the advertisement. “Where’s the beef?” The words that clothed the thought of a supposedly great hamburger were a lie.
On the other hand, thoughtful words used with integrity, often in great poetry or music, point us towards or reveal truth. Ursula K. Le Guin makes this point with her words: “Storytellers and poets spend their lives learning the skill and art of using words well. And their words make the soul of their readers stronger, brighter, and deeper.”
Words require context and context can bring different meanings to common words. In 1871 a Kansas newspaper said cowboys on payday would go into town to visit the saloons and dance. The cowboys had very little money, so to purchase whiskey they would put a bullet on the counter in exchange for a “shot” of whiskey. The context brought a new meaning to the word “shot.” Or Bill Bryson’s famous example of the word “set” having 38 uses as a noun and 126 as a verb requiring context for clarity. Or Eskimos having twenty different words for snow. Our words become more definitive when they are important to our particular culture or discipline. Context is essential for clarity and even understanding the meaning of most words.
Words can have negative or positive power bringing good or ill to our life situations, our thinking and ultimately our beliefs.
An old Jewish teaching relates words to arrows and concludes that once an arrow is shot it cannot be returned. This Jewish teaching (Orhot Tzaddikim, i.e. The Ways of the Righteous) goes on to say that the use of cruel words can be likened to murder.
Negative words about others are often “shot” as arrows with no thought to the damage they can inflict. Once shot there is no way to retrieve them.
We are in dire need of more civilized discourse. Unfair and often cruel words promote hatred when they are believed by others. When we cut off those who do not agree with us rather than entering respectful dialogue, everyone loses. Speaking ill of others isolates us from them. It is imperative that this tendency is caught and reversed less we damage our souls and the souls of others including children.
Words can be a misleading. We can use words to give misleading impressions. How our words are internalized by the listener or speaker determines their meaning. A phrase such as “I think the world of him” can be expressed with sincerity, humor, or sarcasm depending on the circumstances. The sender or receiver of words may have assumptions that could cause misunderstanding.
Words are the medium through which we tell our stories and define our lives. How we use words defines how we perceive ourselves, others and the world. I had an aunt, Maxine, who at ninety years old, said to me on one of my visits: “You know, I went into the bathroom this morning and looked in the mirror. There staring back at me was a wrinkled frog. I said to myself I don’t remember letting a frog in here. Who let that frog in?” Her frog observation was part of the last chapter of her life story. She spent the last few days of her life in a coma except for one notable moment: Her minister moved his face close to hers and called her name. She opened her eyes exposing the humor in them as she ended her life story with the words, “You wouldn’t be Dr. Kevorkian by chance?” Fine wine she was, aged to perfection, filled with words of love and humor, content with herself, her situation and others.
Word arrows can tear us apart or open us to different viewpoints, bring forth emotions of love or hate, make us dogmatic or open us to each other without bias. Where differences reign, we are in need of dialogue, the shared search for truth, the recognition of our common humanity and the importance of humor. Using words and truly listening with openness to those with whom we differ is never an easy task for anyone, but worth the effort.
There is a key ingredient to living well: words used with honesty, integrity and a touch of humor.
Written by: Hartzell Cobbs
About the Author: With a sprinkling of exuberance and vitality, Dr. Cobbs is an accomplished author of three books and numerous articles published in different venues throughout his life. Dr. Cobbs’ first book, Thanatos and the Sage: A spiritual approach to aging (2008), offers a thought-provoking interpretation of the interplay between how to live life with meaningful intentions and the eventuality of coming to terms with death. His second book, RavenWind (2019) delves into the raven’s role as it relates to Native American myths, legends, and folktales and global history. His reflections on the spirituality of living and dying depicted in his books are threaded throughout the short essays posted on the website for “Smart Strategies for Successful Living” and in his latest book, The Moon at the Window: Senior Reflections.
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The Moon at the Window: Senior Reflections: CLICK HERE.
RavenWind: CLICK HERE.
Thanatos and the Sage: A spiritual approach to aging: CLICK HERE.
