Have you ever found yourself in an argument with a friend, family member, or co-worker that you wish you could just pause and press replay? In the heat of the moment, did you find yourself making accusations or disparaging comments towards the other person? Did your anger escalate to the point of a no win? And when it was all said and done, what effect did it have on your relationship with that person, and, by extension, with others?
If you have ever been in a conversation that has escalated into a full-fledged argument, you know that there is little to gain and lots to lose from it. To prevent these unproductive encounters, practice hitting the pause button before you react. This simple step can spare you from a multitude of regrets and heartaches in the long run.
Whenever you are in a conversation that begins to intensify, practice pausing.
- Pause before assuming;
- Pause before judging;
- Pause before demanding;
- Pause before accusing.
Before saying something that you will later regret, push the pause button.
Be Mindful:
Once on pause, take a moment to recognize the surge of rude and disparaging thoughts that come to mind.
Be Strategic:
Use your “pause time” to edit your first thoughts and to come up with a less invasive and more tactical response.
Be Proactive:
Respond in a manner that diffuses potential escalation and fosters a more civil and constructive dialogue.
Be Perceptive:
If you struggle to manage your emotions or reactions, it’s best to walk away. You can always return to the conversation after taking time to cool off and regroup.
Ultimately, having the ability to hit the pause button to defuse potential arguments will be invaluable. Whether at work or home, ensure that this “pause button” is always within reach—you never know when it might prove useful.
Written by: Patricia K. Flanigan, Smart Strategies for Successful Living
Patricia K. Flanigan is a vibrant and passionate advocate for quality living and aging. She has dedicated over 28 years to working in higher education, but now enjoys a more peaceful lifestyle as the founding director and writer of Smart Strategies for Successful Living. In her free-time, she cherishes spending quality time with her family and friends, as well as getting out into nature with her beloved Samoyed dog, Wylie. Patricia loves helping others age gracefully and shares her wisdom through her content to promote the ultimate success in living.
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