Receiving a difficult medical diagnosis is a harrowing experience to say the least. The following ideas are designed to guide and help you after getting the news.
Before and During Your Doctor Appointment: Try the following suggestions:
- Ask your spouse or other loved one to go with you to the doctor. This is good advice regardless of the possibility of receiving bad news but is especially important if the diagnosis could be dire, such as results of a biopsy, CT scan, MRI or other test.
- Make a list of questions you’ll ask the doctor if it is bad news. You may be too upset at the time to think of questions you should ask.
- Have the person accompanying you ask the questions.
- Ask that person to take notes since you may be too concerned to remember what the doctor said.
- You may also want to schedule a follow-up appointment to ask more questions, which you can think of after you’ve had time to digest the diagnosis.
After Your Appointment: If the diagnosis confirmed your worst fears, here are some ideas of what you can do after the appointment.
- Learn as much as you can about your condition. Knowledge is power.
- Find and attend a support group for people with your condition. Research has shown that support groups can be helpful even to people who don’t feel like actively participating in the discussion.
- Don’t keep your diagnosis secret. Inform friends and family members so you can have their support.
- Consider consulting your spiritual leader, a psychotherapist, or another professional to obtain additional support.
- Take good care of yourself. Be sure to get adequate sleep and exercise. Practice relaxation techniques. Eat a healthy diet and avoid alcohol. Remove stressful events from your life as much as possible. Also, have all needed regular screening tests and seek medical attention for any medical issues whether they are related or unrelated to your condition.
If It’s a Terminal Diagnosis: If your diagnosis should unfortunately be of a terminal disease, in addition to the above steps, consider these:
- Take time to grieve. It’s natural to experience a period of morning after receiving a terminal diagnosis.
- However, if your grief lasts unusually long and interferes with your daily functioning, consider seeing a physician (a family doctor, psychiatrist or gerospsychiatrist) for help.
- Put your final affairs in order to get that unpleasant task out of the way. This is especially important if the diagnosis is Alzheimer’s or another dementia. You’ll want to make these plans while you’re still able to.
- You may want to quit your job so you’ll have all of your remaining time free to spend with family and friends and to participate in hobbies or other activities that bring you pleasure.
- Finally, engage hospice care services as soon as your physician considers that you have less than six months to live. Hospice focuses on pain relief, comfort and enhanced quality of life in the time that’s remaining. Many people wait too long and end up having hospice support for only a few days instead of several months. Delaying hospice services also prevents your loved ones from receiving the support hospice professionals can offer them.
Receiving a difficult—or even terminal—medical diagnosis is extremely challenging. Hopefully, the above advice can help ease the situation. You may think of other coping strategies and put them into practice as well.
Written by: Marie Marley
Marie Marley, PhD, is a nationally-recognized author on issues related to Alzheimer’s caregiving. She has published more than 450 articles on the Huffington Post, the French Huffington Post, the Alzheimer’s Reading Room, and numerous other sites. She is the author of the uplifting book, “Come Back Early Today: A Memoir of Love, Alzheimer’s and Joy,” which was a finalist for five literary awards. Caregivers say it helped them a lot. Former caregivers have said they wish they’d had it when they were caregivers. She is also the co-author (with neurologist, Daniel C. Potts, MD, FAAN) of “Finding Joy in Alzheimer’s: New Hope for Caregivers.” The Foreword is by Maria Shriver. Her website, ComeBackEarlyToday.com, contains a wealth of helpful information for Alzheimer’s caregivers. She lives in Kansas City with her two Shih Tzus.
Contact Dr. Marley at: mariemarley1950@gmail.com
On behalf of Smart Strategies for Successful Living, our sincerest appreciation goes to Marie Marley for her contribution to our community website and commitment to the health and well-being of others.