Paramount to your success is the ability to accept who and what you are, including your good qualities and bad ones. With self-acceptance, you learn how to love yourself in a positive way and treat yourself well. Whenever you experience challenges, you are willing to accept failures and unhappiness as a part of life. You don’t let their negativity become your destruction. You make self-improvements without fixating on your flaws or trying to control the impossible. Overall, self-acceptance allows you to be comfortable in your own skin and to live a fuller and more rewarding life.
To cultivate self-acceptance, work through these steps:
(1) Focus your intention:
Self-Acceptance begins with shifting your intention away from an existence of blame, doubt, fear, and shame to one of tolerance, hopefulness, optimism, and trust. It is a time to move away from self-hatred to accepting yourself just the way you are – flaws and all. As part of this step, direct your intent to a positive you.
(2) Embrace your strengths:
Adversarial and hurtful situations often take a toll on our self-esteem and self-worth. According to one psychologist, Ryan Howes, PhD, “We are much better collectors of our shortcomings than our strengths.” Overall, we tend to hold onto our negative experiences and fail to see our gifts. To focus on your strengths, create and maintain a “Memory Log.” Howes suggests that you include in your log a list of key hardships you’ve overcome, goals that you have accomplished, connections you have made, and lives you have touched. In all, learn from your failings but focus on your strengths. Keep adding to your “Memory Log” as new experiences arise.
(3) Forgive yourself and others:
Harboring past regrets or being unable to forgive ourselves or others can prevent us from practicing self-acceptance. While this process will take time, realize that the past is the past. Identify your biggest regrets and do everything in your power to make amends. Be willing to turn the page of time. By doing so, accept that these experiences are part of your story, be grateful for the lessons learned, and truly forgive yourself and others.
(4) Stay positive:
Don’t get caught up in the drama. Surround yourself with positive people and opportunities that make you happy. Tune out the need for perfection, unrealistic expectations or negative thoughts. Stay away from dark places and people who will bring you down. Be your best advocate and create a support system of people who will accept you and believe in you.
(5) Believe in yourself:
You are the hero in your own story. You have the power to accomplish great things and conquer any challenges that greet you. Believe that you can have a positive impact on yourself and others, and you will.
(6) Keep moving forward:
Despite the obstacles that are thrown your way, keep moving forward – one step at a time. When you fall, learn from the experience and pick yourself up. When you are forced to change directions, don’t hesitate or quit. And remember, once you accept your true self, each passage in life will become easier and more rewarding.
Written by: Patricia K. Flanigan, Smart Strategies for Successful Living
Patricia K. Flanigan is a vibrant and passionate advocate for quality living and aging. She has dedicated over 28 years to working in higher education, but now enjoys a more peaceful lifestyle as the founding director and writer of Smart Strategies for Successful Living. In her free-time, she cherishes spending quality time with her family and friends, as well as getting out into nature with her beloved Samoyed dog, Wylie. Patricia loves helping others age gracefully and shares her wisdom through her content to promote the ultimate success in living.
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